Guess i haven update in a long time, but i promise i'll do it more often. Well, as you guys know, i'll POC in 2 weeks time. BMT life has been somewhat enlightening and enriching to me.

One of the most important lesson i learnt is that i've managed to identify the people around me, who are the people who you can consider as friends and who are just people who are making use of you, just mere hi-bye friends. But i'm still myself, don't worry, still the simple and childish old me who says thing as i wish and things like that. It's just that i'm more exposed to how the reality actually works.

At the same time, i've made some friends who's really very different. People who are of a different background, different character and things like that. They've taught me a lot of things that i didn't know initially.

One of the toughest thing ever is to maintain all the relationship you have with the people around you. Be it kinship, friendship and any other forms of relationship. At times it gets really tiring knowing that life's gonna be very different these 2 years. But i finally grew out of that sick and tired feeling that i used to have. I realized that if i put in all my effort, things are gonna be the same and these 2 years means nothing.

Lately, to be exact this weekend, i've came out with a new decision, a very tough one. Been getting a lot of support from my family and my friends. I know this decision is gonna be very tough and it's really hard to endure. But i'm gonna do it, no matter how much it drains me.

Last but not least, i'm really very appreciative of all the support i'm getting. It's keeping my decision firm, keeping myself from wavering, seriously i need all the concern and luck in this entire world. I didn't really converse this decision to some of my really close friends, cause they might treat it as a joke and a game i'm playing, but i really need all the support i can get, for once, i really do..

SEE YOU GUYS SOON :)

I always like this little space of mine, because unlike twitter and fb that is so open, finally i have a space of my own. I understand that there are actually a few readers here that actually surprised me, but if you are actually bothered to read my journal when i update rarely, i guess you guys are really good frds of mine and deserve to have a peep at my thoughts.

So if you guys are actually reading my tweets, you will know that i have a tiff with a couple of friends. Well, it is actually a small thing of not being able to turn up for a outing but it ended up into something real big, and now i don't feel like meeting at all. I mean if you actually quarreled about something there is definitely no point in meeting up, i don't like to put on a fake smile when i know that i won't be happy.

I was actually feeling happy that at long last, finally these few months nearing ns i finally have my peace, but i guess good things don't exactly last long. But no doubt i still have my share of laughter and joy with a few groups of frds.

Been thinking abt a lot of things lately and my mind is really close to exploding, somethings in the past keep coming up in my mind and naturally they are nothing good. But i guess i should really put the past behind and stop worrying about everything.

1 week left, how should i feel, sigh.

Seems that my wish haven't come true, but i'll still have faith that hopefully this week it will. Anyway, less than 2 weeks left till ns, what should i say..

1) I'm not exactly mentally and physically prepared.
2) I don't really feel like going in
3) Life's kinda peaceful and good, so i don't really enjoy going into ns
4) I'm kinda tired of knowing people over again from start, especially hypocrites that people have been warning me abt
5) I'm scared of all the changes that ns will bring

Guess i need a good rest.

For the first time in my entire life i felt really helpless yesterday after hearing some things. I just ask myself why have i been wasting my 20 years not achieving something like wad other people can. I guess not everyone can understand the feeling that i'm going through.

At the same time, i know that this is something that i cannot and won't turn to anyone for help. In my mind yesterday i actually prayed to god for blessing in order to get a solution out of it. I made a promise to god about the things that i will do if my wish came true. If my wish came true i will be able to do something for them. I know this is deem as a selfish act, but sorry i'm not that noble. I prioritize my family and friends first before any other people in life.

Initially, I find it hard to smile yesterday when all these thoughts were running in my mind whilst travelling to the fishing trip. But my friends around me actually made me smile, through their jokes, nonsense and everything else. I really felt very appreciative of their presence yesterday compared to any other events that appear so insignificant. Maybe my dad is right, the people who are there for you when you are in need makes you appreciate it a lot, sometimes even for a lifetime. And what i probably need last night was a smile, a laugh to take those thoughts away.

One last thing to say: i'm a very observant person to the little things that each individual does, though it may just be an insignificant act, but it's something that i really appreciate, maybe even for a lifetime. Thanks all who made my day.

Hi guys, i'm back. Less than a month till ns and it's taking it's toll on me. It's a phase that everyone have to go through but i just dread the thought of leaving my comfort zone, my family, my friends and everything behind.

Anyway, been really busy lately, went out every single day. Sabrina's birthday, prawning, ktv, pub, supper, shopping etc etc. Most importantly a couple of us have been meeting keong almost every single day. He's flying on wednesday to study overseas for a year. Hmm, will feel weird having a frd MIA-ing for a whole year. But will try our best to go over somewhere during my ns to visit him!

There's a lot of things going on in my life as usual, good things and bad things. But i've learnt to kinda ignore all the disappointing things and focus on the people and things that actually can make me smile. Oh ya, btw i've cut my hair to real short already :P

Anyway, it never fails to put a smile on me when i see people around me happy. Glad to see more and more of my close frds being that way, and also, congrats to tracy and yap. You two finally made it.

Last but not least: 1F2S3P7O, this is a reminder to myself to be satisfied with wad i have now in life. Cheers everyone :D

The previous comment actually spurred me to come back for awhile, no idea who that was though. Hmm, lately been really busy, wednesday's sabrina's birthday.
 

One more month till ns, ahhh, still not that mentally prepared for it. Anyway, went prawning on saturday. Met up with martin at jurong point. As usual, my no sense of direction got me lost and i'm late for 20 minutes for that. Anyway, went over to jurong hill with martin first. Well, the initial prawning was marvellous. We caught 1 prawn within 1 minute, changed the bait and put it in again. Started to light up a stick and before it was lit up, another prawn again.

HOWEVER, AFTER THAT TOTALLY NO PRAWN FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR GOD DAMN IT. Everyone reached after that and the drinking starts. We caught a total of 10+ prawns for that night, luckily there's hotdogs, crabsticks and mushrooms otherwise we'll prolly all die of starvation. Ended up really tired that night and fell asleep, luckily martin pick up the phone call from my dad.

Might blog more about my life, shouldn't let this place be so dead, will be back soon guys :)